Loneliness during lockdown for single parents and SPW’s response by Amy Holland
Even before this pandemic research consistently showed that single parents are likely to experience loneliness and isolation. Loneliness and isolations has always been a big issue for single parents and something that is brought up over and over again with SPW members.
It’s not as simple as going on dating apps and finding another partner, or going out and finding new friends. There are lots of barriers and complexities to the feelings of loneliness by single parents.
Just as an insight some of the reasons might be; spending time away from children, if they are co-parenting, dealing with a bereavement, having to do everything alone and seeing the world around you being built for coupled families, and often feeling like an invisible, forgotten group.
Solo parenting can also be lonely, no one to share the highs, lowest and all of the boring stuff in between with anyone. You can also sometimes go days without seeing or interacting with another adult.
We asked our members about their thoughts and feelings around loneliness and isolation during lockdown and Covid:
88.8% said that they had felt lonely
94.4% said that lockdown had impacted their mental health
62.2% said that they had felt isolated
Loneliness is not new for us
The feelings of loneliness and isolation that have been felt by the world during this pandemic, and the feelings of being imprisoned in their homes are not new to many single parents.
“I didn’t feel any more lonely during lockdown than before. As a single parent you just have to get on with things the best you can.”
— SPW MEMBER
“I felt a bit resentful of others who normally had family support and were suddenly being very vocal about being on their own. I think this is because being on my own was 'normal' for me.”
“Lockdown is how I live my life most of the time. I am confined to my house, unable to go out, some of my freedom is taken away being a single parent. Even just popping out for a pint of milk.”
“Lockdown gave me lots more opportunity to reduce my loneliness because everything was moved online.”
“In many ways better than usual. They spend less time in child care and I am saving money on it.”
Missing the ones we love and adult interaction
Interestingly the impact of not being able to meet with colleagues, seeing people on a school run, and the reliance on feedback from teaches and after school club.
“It’s not just lockdown. It’s the whole situation of not being able to visit friends and family and spend time with them. It has and still is impacting my mental health.”
— SPW MEMBER
“I’ve seen my mum once since February, not been into college to use equipment I need since February, spend all day everyday sitting on my sofa working on a screen. All events that keep me sane cancelled.”
“No adult conversation and when she goes with her dad not seeing anybody possibly for days.”
“I miss my work colleagues and that part of my life. I didn;t realise how much I relied on their company and conversation.”
“I was so glad when they went back to school so I could see adults on the school runs and chat with them, even if only briefly.”
“What lockdown teaching has made me realise is that the teachers and after school club staff gave me encouragement and a parenting boost when we saw them face to face; not having that incidental daily affirmation and reassurance took us both while to adjust to”
“Pre-lockdown I never really felt alone in my parenting, all of sudden, in lockdown I did. ”
SPW response to Lockdown and Covid
We reacted quickly, moving our activities online. We made sure that we listened and responded to the group.
Created illustrated postcards, detailing just some of the things that SPW members were feeling, sent out to over 300 parents.
Set up food parcels for families
During the start there was a lot of confusion around two households and children moving between the houses’. Their feelings around the pandemic, and feeling like a forgotten about group. Our Facebook group source of information and support
We wrote various blogs to highlight and give our members a voice, around what this pandemic was like for them. We had actions on their for Sennedd Members in Wales, plus we encouraged members to write to their local SM.
From the blogs emerged a campaigning group of single parents, who are listening and responding to the group about wider issues than the pandemic, such as CSA payments and mental health and BLM.
We launched a Creativity in Covid project which encouraged children and parents to take some time together to create things, we did craft activities like calm jars and STEM activities like building a rollercoaster, to suit all ages and interests. Plus we ran adult art sessions in the evening. These were attended during lockdown by over 250 single parent families.
Online exercise classes moved online and achieved as a group achieved over 8 million steps.
We held social events like book clubs, games nights and quizzes as well. As well as responding by giving Anger workshops after discussions in the group.
Plus had a feel good festival all online in August. As lots of parents expressed that they were missing festivals this year.
For us the pandemic gave single parents an opportunity to meet online and solidify that the digital side of our social enterprise is very important. But it also highlighted the need to balance this with outdoor activities so that the relationships developed online can move in real life. We also felt grateful that our organisation was peer led during this time, offering much needed support.
Coming out of lockdown we have maximised the meeting outdoors and going on walks as a group. Moving the exercise classes outside and arranging craft sessions on beaches. We are also developing our online resources and making sure that the knowledge and information is shared to a wider audience.
All of the above projects are still running and we have just secured funding from The National Lottery Community Fund for a 3 year project, which is to continue our wellbeing workshops. Which allows single parents in Wales to focus on their mental health. We are having to adapt the programme so that it translates online and we have a programme of activities and workshops for the whole of December as the single parents have expressed their feelings around Christmas is 2020.